See No Evil, Hear No Evil
by keykeeper11
Summary: Lily Evans has decided that James Potter must certainly be evil. So, she decides to take it into her own matters. Involves blindfolds, whistling, & stair falling. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer:** Not mineee.

**Author's Note:** -shakes head- You guys don't bloody know how much I've been through trying to get this story on Read my LJ to find out ! Please review.

**See No Evil, Hear No Evil:** _One-shot_

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Lily Evans had decided that James Potter was simply evil. He did evil things (like bullying the Slytherins' and drinking Fire Whiskey whenever she rejected him,) and he only cared for himself. Lily had decided that if James Potter wasn't considered as evil; she didn't know what was. He always slacked off on his work and always tried to manipulate her into going out with him. But it simply wasn't going to work. Not this time, or ever.

Lily had decided that in order to get rid of James Potter's 'evil-ness' in her life, she was going to have to follow that old muggle riddle, "See no evil, hear no evil, think no evil.." etc.

"I mean, who does he think he is?" she said, one night in the Head Common Room with her friend Ezra by her side. "He's gone absolutely bizerk; all heart set on getting me to go out with him! But it's not going to work, right?"

Ezra nodded afraid that if she didn't agree Lily would get angry, "Of course."

Lily sighed contently and pulled a long piece of white material out of her cloak pocket. "Good. Potter is clearly evil, which is why I want you to blind fold me with this." She blinked at Ezra with wide, green eyes.

"No – hell no! Lily, I'm not going to blind fold you! What do you think I am; crazy?" she shouted, pushing the rim of her glasses up and away from the bridge of her nose.

"You have to! It's the only way I'm going to get that prat out of my life, okay? Just blind fold me; remember what that riddle said: see no evil! So I'm not going to see James Potter --"

"Or anyone else,"

The red head scowled. "Yeah well, I'll work past it." She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Just do it, okay?"

Ezra stared a Lily, unblinking through her one green, and one blue eyes. "Merlin, we must both be insane!" But, nevertheless; she tied the blindfold around Lily's forehead and eyes as tight as she could without cutting off her friend's circulation.

"Bloody brilliant." Lily grinned triumphantly at Ezra and spun around to face her, or, at least she tried to face her, but was in the entirely wrong spot. "I can't see a thing!"

"And you're happy about that?" Ezra raised her nose in the air and tied her short, brown hair back and out of her eyes.

"Yes, I am. Now help me put the ear plugs in!"

Lily Evans, had finally cracked.

----- 

Getting through the day was quite hard for Lily. She kept stumbling into random strangers who shouted things like, "Watch where you're going!" and, "Get some glasses, grandma!" Even though, it was perfectly clear, that Lily didn't need glasses – and wouldn't be able to use them – since she had on a blind fold. But so far, so good, because she hadn't seen James Potter – or anyone else. She had Ezra guide her to her classes, and out of his way.

Her plan was working.

"Miss Evans, what is wrong with you!" Professor McGonagall cried as Lily made her way into the Transfiguration classroom (banging her head on the wall three or four times until she finally found the door).

"What?" she replied cheerfully, but held her head, which was beginning to throb rather painfully. "I can't hear you! I've got ear plugs in!"

McGonagall's jaw fell all the way open as she stared at the Head Girl in disbelief. If she wasn't in a classroom filled with students, a variety of swear words would've come out of her mouth. With a sharp movement, the Headmistress yanked the ear plugs out and stood, glowering at Lily (except she couldn't see it).

"Miss Evans, I'm ordering you to unblindfold yourself now!"

"I can't, Professor; it's .. err.. for Muggle Studies!"

"No it isn't!" Remus Lupin shouted, tearing himself away from his new novel_, A Werewolf's Bite._

Lily glared in the direction she thought Remus was, except he couldn't see it, either. She turned to Professor McGonagall. "Professor, you know, I think I'll take off the blindfold.. in the girls' bathroom."

McGongall sighed contently. "Good, now run off, Miss Evans, and when you come back I expect to be able to see those eyes of yours."

----- 

Lily had gone to the bathroom (after about forty-five minutes of running around the corridors and banging into random things). But there was one flaw in her expedition: She was in the boys' bathroom. But, of course, Lily didn't know it.

She had decided that, instead of taking off the blindfold; she was just going to sit in what she thought was the girls' bathroom until lunch.. if she could find her way to the Great Hall.

She made herself content by sitting on the ground and humming while she pictured the look on McGonagall's face if she ever found out that Lily had disobeyed her orders.

About an hour into hiding, Lily heard whistling out in the hallway near the bathroom. She froze with fear, and crawled into what she hoped was a bathroom stall. It was.

The whistling grew closer and closer until Lily heard footsteps in the bathroom, right on the other side of her stall. With a terrified squeal, Lily pushed open the door and was satisfied to hear a rather loud thud; it had hit the Whistler Guy (that was her new nickname for him,) in the head.

"Arggghhh!" The Whistler Guy yelled in pain as she slipped across the bathroom floor trying to find the door that led her out of the bathroom. Lily heard the guy scramble up from where he had fallen in pain and chase after her.

Lily screamed; she felt the Whistler Guy grab at her skirt as she hurried to turn the brass handle of the bathroom door.

The door swung open, and she rushed into the crowded hallway, Whistler Guy right behind her as she skidded into students heading down to the Great Hall for lunch. They shoved her out of their way, swearing, and Lily tripped a few times, but she still refused to take off the blindfold. James Potter could be anywhere.

Her breath caught short as Whistler Guy grabbed her around the waist and yanked her towards him. His muscles tightened as he shoved her against his chest and Lily thrashed about, trying to smack him, but only ended up hitting thin air. She writhed under his touch screaming, "Let go of me!" but he held her still.

"Lily?"

The red head gave out an exasperated breath, her body sore, and her blood froze. She knew that voice. It was -

"Potter-wee-Potter!" Peeves the Poltergeist cackled as he swooped down upon the two Heads who were at the top of the stairs that lead down to the Entrance Hall.

"What do we have here, eh?" he said in his obnoxious high-pitched voice. Lily started to squirm under James's hold again; she needed to get away – Peeves was no good.

"Potter, dammit, let go!" she shouted, hitting him in the shoulder as Peeves circled around them.

"That's not a very nice way to treat your boyfriend, Loony Lily Evans!" Peeves cackled louder and with one sharp movement, he had shoved the two of them down the steep staircase.

The two tumbled together down the long stairway as James held his arms tighter around Lily, grunting every once in a while. Lily, on the other hand, screamed so loud that her voice cracked. The stairs weren't padded, so it was a painful ride, and her stomach kept giving sickening drops like it would on a roller coaster.

At last, the two reached the end of the staircase, and rolled a few yards until they came to a stop near the doors that lead to the Hogwarts Grounds.

James sat Lily up, both of there bodies numb with pain. He gently undid her blindfold, and she blinked at the bright daylight shining through the massive windows.

"Oh.. my God." She clutched her head and sank farther onto the ground.

"Can I ask you something?" James panted, yanking her towards him.

"Sure,"

"Why were you wearing a blind fold?"

Lily glowered at him. "No reason."

"Well, don't ever put it back on, because then I'll never be able to see your pretty green eyes." He knew that that line was extremely cheesy, but didn't care at all.

She laughed a little, but automatically regretted it because it hurt to laugh. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good. Oh, and Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Next time, don't go into the boys' bathroom and hit me in the head with the stall door." Her eyes widened in shock, making James chuckle. He took this opportunity to give her a long kiss.

In the end, Lily decided that James Potter wasn't so evil after all. And, maybe the colossal impact of taking a bathroom stall door to the head had shrunken his cocky ego just a little.

Lily looked at him for a second and then kissed him back.

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**A/N:** Review. It's vital for my survival & er.. my continuation on being an author here, lol. XD

**Later.**


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